
I wrote a science fiction story. It took days and days to write. Here it is, if you want to read it:
One day, I decided to go to the planet Ares, so I built the MILLENIUM FALCON. As soon as I was done, I built a fire sword and some golden armor to protect me from the methane atmosphere on Ares. Then I trained and trained and trained. I trained by playing video games simulating conditions on Ares and fighting simulated Arian creatures. Then I invited my friend Daniel, so I made another suit of golden armor. Then we went in the FALCON and we blasted off.
I heard some thumps during hyperspace and Daniel showed up with something green in his hand. It was Jonathan. He was a stowaway and he was an alien from the planet Gobllein. When he told his life story, we decided to let him live.
Just then, our sensors indicated a fleet of aliens, and something that rhymes with backer beam. It was a tractor beam. We were pulled down to the planet Ares. But before the aliens shot our engines we got a good look at the planet. The planet was dark green and the main star was blue. Just then, our engines failed. “I knew that the engines were not ready yet!” I said.
When we landed, the ship was surrounded by humanoid aliens. We could see more and more aliens surging out of the lava rock caves that dotted the landscape. We knew from our studies of the planet and its residents that the aliens didn’t have families. They reproduced like bacteria, by splitting in half. Maybe that was why there were so many of them.
There were also Burgerlers - they are alien cows, and the Hairballs, which look like alien turkeys. We put on the armor. It protected me and Dan from the methane atmosphere. The aliens forced us to their arena. Along the way I saw human kids being forced to go to the mines without protective clothes on. I was mad because the kids wouldn’t last 14 hours in the poisonous atmosphere. We knew that they would soon become Hairball food. The day was overcast and the sky was greenish-grayish.
Daniel and I were forced to fight in the arena for 50 days. The arena was open to the crowd of aliens, who threw rocks at us. Luckily, they missed us. Jonathan had betrayed us to the aliens and was throwing rocks as well. The sky was bright green and I was sweating like a dog under the hot blue sun. During the matches I would look at the moons (9 of them) and wish to go home. Besides, I was getting really tired of the steady diet of Burgerler and Hairball meat that the aliens would slide into my cell at night. Still, Daniel and I had prepared well, and we won every time.
The aliens kept track of the champions of each Death Round in a huge book made of pressed leaves from the plants that grew on the lava rocks. No one had ever won as many times as Daniel and I. One night, I overheard an alien saying that we weren’t allowed to ever leave the place. When I tried to escape, they threatened to feed me to the Burgerlers. I was so mad that I busted down the door.
Daniel and I ran out of the arena. We raced across the hard lava rocks past the boiling lava ocean. The ground was very rocky, but also slippery, because of the plants that grew on the lava rocks, which were as slippery as seaweed. The enraged aliens and Jonathan were hot on our trail, and gaining on us. We thought they would catch us, but when we were almost to our spaceship, we noticed that the lava ocean was receding dramatically. The aliens were too enraged to notice. At the last second, I remembered that our armor came with hoverboots. I yelled to Daniel to push his button and we both blasted to the ships as the aliens and Jonathan were burned to potato chips by the hot lava tsunami.
It was lucky for us that the aliens had repaired our engine so that they could use the ship themselves so they could travel to Earth and destroy it. We left the planet Ares but we took a wrong turn in hyperspace.
And then we got dragged to the Death Star.
To be continued…
The story is cooooooool!!!!!!!!! I hated the editing, though. - Dan
ReplyDeleteThe editing had to be done, though, so that others could read it! So I'm glad you were willing to do it, even though you hated it.
ReplyDeleteI am also glad you put in all those science details. I know it was hard to keep adding details, but I think it makes the story much more realistic. :-)
Erica
Dear Dan,
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! That's a LOT of writing! I'm SO impressed! And I'm glad you consented to adding details and editing. That makes a story so much more interesting and easy to read! One of my favorite details is the book with leaves for pages. I like the picture that paints in my mind. Your Hairballs reminded me of the time I was in Garden City, Kansas and saw an actual hairball. It was a famous hairball as it was the LARGEST one in the world! It was about the size of a basketball! Can you believe that? Sadly, I don't think the cow was able to hock it up--too big. But he probably made someone a very nice meal. Kansas, is famous for great beef! Mmmmm.
I also liked the idea of hoverboots. I could sure use a pair of those! My errands would go a lot faster and be much more fun! Lastly, I'm intrigued by your "teaser" about Jonathan. I'm really interested to hear his life story. Will there be a sequel?
Keep up the good work!
Love, Mom
Whoa. Dan. What an awesome story! I was fascinated by this alien planet and its inhabitants, and like your mom, I'd love to hear more about the story of Jonathan.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, this story was VERY WELL EDITED. I could use some lessons from you about how to so thoroughly and meticulously edit a story. That's something I have trouble with sometimes. I'm very impressed!!!
Daniel, my man! Way to go on the story. I don't think I could write a story as creative as you did! I was surprised when you mentioned the hot blue sun. It made me think about what life would be like with a blue sun. Very interesting. I liked the part about the aliens not having families and reproducing like bacteria. No wonder they were so angry. Every one needs a family to be there for them.
ReplyDeleteI'll be waiting for the next installment of the story. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for praying for Micah. His hand is getting better.
I miss you and love you. I need to come stay with you guys again, don't you think?
lani
Holy amazing science fiction author! GREAT story, Dan. Like everyone else, I really liked all of the details. I felt like I could 'see' your story while I was reading...and I like that about a story. I also enjoyed all of the science details, it made me think that my author really knows his science stuff! I also especially like that they turned to potato chips at the end...that's so much more exciting than just bursting into flames or something! Plus, if you guys were hungry...you have a snack. Not a bad deal! I'm anxiously awaiting a sequel!
ReplyDeletep.s. For someone who doesn't much like to write, you sure are good at it!
p.s.s. See you in a WEEK. Can't wait!
Love, KK
There will be a Squeakquel.
ReplyDeleteI am serious.
dan